Batman liveblog #5: in which Harvey Dent's big, pouty lips get him into trouble

And now for Batman liveblogging. Episode 5: Pretty Poison.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Is this a Poison Ivy one?

Mad Scientist Yep

Madeline Noble YESSSSSSS POISON IVY

Hannah Sunshıne Climas
‎*creepy music*

Mad Scientist The music is awesome

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ‎... and saturated film?

Madeline Noble that means it's in the past


The past.

Mad Scientist Yay Harvey Dent!

Madeline Noble AHHHH HARVEY DENT

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh hey, a villain connected to Wayne Corporation

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Didn't see that coming.

Mad Scientist ‎"Another fine villain brought to you with a grant from the Wayne foundation"

Madeline Noble woah, Harvey Dent has some mad pouty lips going on

Hannah Sunshıne Climas TROUTY MOUTH.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas A BETTER SAFER GOTHAM.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Hahahahahahahaha

Hannah Sunshıne Climas No.

Mad Scientist Yeah his mouth is weird.


He is a bit pouty.

Madeline Noble wow, they built it REALLY close to the water

Mad Scientist All the better for water escapes


"A buffer of flat land between the prison and the river? Naw, let's just hope none of the prisoners can swim."

Mad Scientist Go Harvey

Mad Scientist You go for that donut


Prison breakout? Be right with you, Commissioner.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS BULLOCK.

Madeline Noble NEVER LEAVE A DOUGHNUT BEHIND.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Donuts > crime.

Mad Scientist ‎"We're home free"

Mad Scientist TEMPTING FATE

Madeline Noble ‎"we're home free" SPOKE TOO SOON

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Tempting fate, the Gotham way.

Mad Scientist Harvey Dent has a big chin

Mad Scientist Like everyone else in this show

Madeline Noble I can't look away from his pouty lips.

Mad Scientist Meanwhile, in some other random part of Gotham...

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Batman caught a transmission tower.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Good for him.

Mad Scientist Batman continues his tradition of dangling from airborne things

Hannah Sunshıne Climas HE JUST WANTS TO FLY OK?

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Also, Poison Ivy is hot.

Madeline Noble Harvey Dent is eating either a green steak of a big pile of spinach

Hannah Sunshıne Climas It tastes like green, apparently.


Looks delicious.

Mad Scientist ‎"There is nothing we don't know about each other."

Mad Scientist Sure, Dent. You believe that.

Madeline Noble OMG HARVEY WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY BRUCE

Hannah Sunshıne Climas THERE'S NOTHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Big wiiiiiiiiiiiings.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Alfred gets shit done.

Mad Scientist Bruce picks up the check

Hannah Sunshıne Climas We just saw Batman's credit card number.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas NEW MILLIONARES


Now we can all be Batman!

Madeline Noble Bruce is Harvey's sugar daddy

Mad Scientist Bruce is the awkward third wheel

Hannah Sunshıne Climas PRETTY WOMAN...

Madeline Noble Harvey's putting his trouty mouth to good use I see

By kissing.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Mad Scientist Spit take!



Hannah Sunshıne Climas ALSO THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas I mean... what.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Gosh it's hot in here.

Madeline Noble WHAT IS THAT PILE ON THE TABLE

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Literal pile of brown crap?

Madeline Noble maybe

Mad Scientist If Harvey Dent died right now

Mad Scientist Batman would be saved an awful lot of trouble

Madeline Noble But he would be even sadder

Hannah Sunshıne Climas HE'S IN THE AMBULANCE WITH HIM YOU GUYS.

Madeline Noble wow, all the signs in Gotham City look dark and terrifying, even for the hospital.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas It's a zombie hospital in the making.


If I was weak and helpless I'd like to recover in this building.

Mad Scientist DONUTS

Mad Scientist MORE IMORTANT THAN DISTRICT ATTOURNEY'S LIFE


You have an addiction, Bullock.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Tintin hair again.

Madeline Noble DUN DUNN DUNNNNNN POISON

Hannah Sunshıne Climas LOTS OF YELLING.

Mad Scientist I like to imagine that every time Bruce talks to the commissioner, he's secretly smirking to himself.

Mad Scientist ‎"I know something you don't know..."

Madeline Noble MICROSCOPES MEAN SCIENCE IS HAPPENING


SCIENCE.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Also that green tie with the yellow shirt? No. Just no.

Mad Scientist Dude are you stealing Harvey's blood sample?

Mad Scientist They need that to try to save his life.

Madeline Noble NO BRUCE DON'T STEAL THAT SCIENCE.


At the least, this is theft. At the most, bioterrorism.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh blood. Tell me your secrets.

Mad Scientist Bullock is a terrible interrogator

Mad Scientist Any one of us would be better at that job and we're not even trained.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Can they really isolate toxins?

Hannah Sunshıne Climas BUT SCIENCE.

Mad Scientist Oh no, the rose is extinct!

Mad Scientist No antidote!

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Of course there's no antidote.

Madeline Noble Batman will make one

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Batman will threaten science until it reverses.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas HE IS THE NIGHT.

Mad Scientist You came as soon as you got his call?

Mad Scientist He's been to the hospital, watched tests being run, been home, run more tests, and then returned to the hospital.

Mad Scientist Did he not call you from the restaurant?

Hannah Sunshıne Climas She kissed Harvey... SHE MUST DIE.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas BROS 4 LYF.

Madeline Noble Ivy hugs Batman, AND HE THINKS ABOUT HARVEY

Mad Scientist Apparently the botanist who designs the perfumes also models them.

Mad Scientist That must save money.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas It's... deadly.


No money for models! You, botanist, get in front of that camera!

Hannah Sunshıne Climas SERIOUSLY THOUGH. She hugged him and BAM Harvey's lips.

Madeline Noble Yeah, I was just thinking that they looked EXACTLY THE SAME. Can you imagine if they did that in real life?

Mad Scientist How does his cape billow out like that?

Mad Scientist Are there fans in the shoulders?

Madeline Noble SCIENCE


Fans? Or SCIENCE?

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ‎... she's so pretty.

Mad Scientist The episode is called "pretty poison".

Mad Scientist She's pretty.

Mad Scientist She poisons.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE SHOW.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas I won't hurt you... UNLESS I NEED TO.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh Ivy, you be tripping balls.

Mad Scientist She is a little crazy.

Madeline Noble is it just me or is Batman's cape more billowy in this episode

Mad Scientist At least the length is consistent

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh hey tentacles.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas This show just got a lot weirder.

Mad Scientist Technically they're vines

Hannah Sunshıne Climas HA

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ‎... still creepy.

Madeline Noble THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Mad Scientist ‎... what are you two laughing about?

Hannah Sunshıne Climas TENTACLES.

Mad Scientist Batman is being eaten by a plant.

Mad Scientist That is no laughing matter.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas YOU'RE A LITTLE BIG FOR A FLY.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh Ivy. You are one of us.


Hilarious, apparently.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ‎"To what do I owe the honour?"
"Harvey Dent".

Madeline Noble I love she took the time to change into her super villain outfit

Hannah Sunshıne Climas She looks like a kinky Peter Pan.


A kinky, genderswapped Peter Pan.There's probably a dedicated fanbase for that.

Madeline Noble MY PRECIOUSSSSSS

Hannah Sunshıne Climas But I want green boots now.

Mad Scientist Later on, Batman needs her help and promises that she can wear her costume to bribe her.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas I BET HE DID.

Madeline Noble THAT IS NOT HOW YOU APPLY LIPSTICK

Mad Scientist This is the most impractical way to poison somebody ever.


There are countless ways to poison somebody that don't require this level of deception or restraint.

Mad Scientist ‎"I was going to share the antidote with you"

Mad Scientist Liar.

Madeline Noble Ivy you were never going to do that

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Death of weird teeth plant thing.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas She has a crossbow on her arm.

Mad Scientist I like her arm crossbow


Arm crossbow.

Madeline Noble why is the plant making elephant noises

Madeline Noble and now car noises

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ME GUSTA.

Madeline Noble yeah, that's cool

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Weird elephant car teeth plant thing.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas OK.

Mad Scientist It's like a puzzle boss battle

Mad Scientist You have to get the shooting villain to shoot the big invulnerable villain by dodging


The mutant plant is GLaDos. Ivy is a rocket launcher.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas SCIENCE.

Madeline Noble AND THEN BATMAN BURNT DOWN HER HOUSE


Batman's solution: fire.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas Where the fuck did that car come from?

Mad Scientist Things catch fire an awful lot in this show.

Mad Scientist But Batman Beyond is much worse.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas ENJOY EXTINCTION BATMAN.

Mad Scientist Why is she pissed off? She's the one killing people!

Madeline Noble for a second i thought Batman was going to hit her with that flaming wreckage

Hannah Sunshıne Climas WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS *leans over bed*


They are good friends.

Mad Scientist Now for the CREEPY CLOSING SHOT.

Mad Scientist This show NEVER uses a nice closing shot.

Mad Scientist It's always either graves, a prison cell, or an insane asylum.


"Why don't we end a children's cartoon on a happy note?" -- none of the writers.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas WE ALWAYS GROW BACK.

Hannah Sunshıne Climas DON'T WE BABY.

Madeline Noble she is just rocking that jumpsuit

    Batman liveblog #4, in which Buttman faces a case of hilarious gas

    Time for more Batman liveblogging.

    Episode #4 - The Last Laugh.

    Batman liveblog #3, in which a man dresses like a butt

    And now onto Episode 3 of Batman: The Animated Series; Nothing to Fear. Beware our awesome commentary!

    Sweet. We get to meet Professor Crane.

    Batman liveblog #2, in which an unsettling clown brings a city to its knees on Christmas.

    Batman liveblogging continues! Prepare yourselves for Episode 2: Christmas With The Joker.

    Batman liveblog #1, in which SWAT teams are incompetent

    Welcome to our blog/review of Batman: The Animated Series.

    Episode #1 - On Leather Wings.



    Young Justice Sims: Maybe you CAN have your cake and eat it too

    GO WALLY GO



    Wally is not deterred by Conner's courting of Artemis. He knows that she really holds a torch for him, and he sets out to prove it. Here, they share their first kiss. Hopefully this will make my friends happy enough not to hurt me, even if Artemis isn't their preferred love interest.

    This is just too cute not to include:


    Meanwhile, M'Gann continues her ongoing mission of being the Perfect Housewife. But she finally has a wish that has nothing to do with cooking, cleaning or repairing toilets... she wants to hug somebody.



    We love you, M'Gann.

    Young Justice Sims: Wally made his choice

    Well, this is interesting.



    After about an hour of casual chatting about exercise and complementing her athleticism, Conner is moving in on Wally's girl. Looks like Artemis' dreams are coming true in this weird alternate Sime reality.



    Yup. Wally's not gonna like this. Although Wally did get promoted today, which might help his mood. He's now good at apprehending burglars! That's a pretty important hero skill right there.



    Even with his promotion, he's still hung up on Artemis.



    Let's hope he can move in before Conner steals her away for good.

    Young Justice Sims: This isn't TV, you know

    M'Gann appears to have learned everything she knows about human culture from very old sitcoms. Her aspiration seems to be the Ultimate Housewife, with desires like making the bed, washing the dishes and fixing the toilet.



    Her cooking skill is too high to benefit from the books the household owns any more, so I send her out book shopping. Meanwhile, Artemis has started a small lettuce garden, as part of a cunning plan to ensure that nobody ever has to go grocery shopping. Conner will probably do most of the gardening while he sulks. Angrily. Fortunately Sims won't punch the walls and break them.

    Wally is about to share his first ever kiss with Artemis when... whoops, he has to go to work! He runs off, thinking about the job, leaving artemis alone.



    What he really wants is to stay home and have sex with her, though.



    And the feeling is mutual.



    Here's hoping we're not looking at eighteen episodes of unresolved sexual tension this time.

    Young Justice Sims: The new guy

    Dick has brought somebody home from school.



    Taking random people to the Hall of Justice is a serious security problem, but whatever. I'm sure this guy's legit. You can always trust people whose first name are initials. (Dick is grumpy for unrelated reasons.)

    Dick's new friend is Childish, just like him! They play tag.


    But the new kid's not a one friend guy. He plays tag with M'Gann...


    ... while Wally helps Dick with his homework. Aren't they adorable?