And now onto Episode 3 of Batman: The Animated Series; Nothing to Fear. Beware our awesome commentary!
Sweet. We get to meet Professor Crane.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Does he have feelings too?
Mad Scientist He likes to cause them. Fear mostly.
Madeline Noble ALL THE FEELINGS
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Fear is a legitimate feeling.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas And then the Warner Brothers logo again.
Madeline Noble more explosions
Mad Scientist There is always the WB logo
Mad Scientist They're the same explosions
Madeline Noble FOREVERRRR
Mad Scientist This intro happens every time.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas BATMAN HATES MEN IN HATS.
Mad Scientist I LOVE THIS BIT
Madeline Noble it's still cool though
Hannah Sunshıne Climas HE IS THE NIGHT.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR.
Mad Scientist Oh this guy is so mean to Bruce.
Madeline Noble IT WILL END WITH BATMAN
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Robberies, vandalism... sounds like our University actually.
Madeline Noble nooooo
Mad Scientist Oh wait
Mad Scientist That's her
Mad Scientist Summer Gleeson was the woman kidnapped last episode
Mad Scientist I never noticed.
Madeline Noble That lady is dressed like you Hannah, you are getting hit on by Batman
Hannah Sunshıne Climas How interesting.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Also, I would totally wear that. Pussybow blouse and purple skirt? HELL YES.
Mad Scientist "It's a good thing your father didn't live to see what you did to his good name. He'd have died of shame."
Madeline Noble IT'S A GOOD THING YOUR FATHER IS DEAD
Madeline Noble harsh guy
Hannah Sunshıne Climas THE NAME WAYNE USED TO MEAN SOMETHING.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas HE HAD BIG PLANS FOR YOU.
Mad Scientist Random security guard?
Mad Scientist YOU'LL BE TOTALLY FINE
Mad Scientist Never be a security guard in Gotham.
Mad Scientist Never be in Gotham.
Madeline Noble it's just a bad career move
Why would anybody live in Gotham?
Mad Scientist Enter THE SCARECROW
Hannah Sunshıne Climas The Scarecrow literally has no flesh.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Literally.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas He's just bones.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas What.
Perhaps he has a severe hormonal or eating disorder? Or maybe he is a puppet?
Mad Scientist Actually this is pretty terrifying
Mad Scientist SPIDERS
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ... that dude just visualised spiders. I'm genuinely creeped out.
These are not spiders. Every single thing about their morphology is wrong.
Madeline Noble THAT GUY JUST RUBBED HIS BUTT
Madeline Noble THE SPIDERS WERE ON HIS BUTT
Madeline Noble BUTT SPIDERS
Hallucinatory butt spiders.
Mad Scientist Oh god these characters are still 2D and stereotypical
Hannah Sunshıne Climas SPIDER BUTT SPIDER BUTT
Hannah Sunshıne Climas DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER BUTT DOES
Mad Scientist ...
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ... I like it when we liveblog butts.
Madeline Noble always
Hannah Sunshıne Climas The Scarecrow scares me more than the Joker does.
Mad Scientist That's his job. He scares people.
Madeline Noble WELCOME BUTTMAN
Hannah Sunshıne Climas NANANANANANANANANANANA BUTTMAN.
Mad Scientist He is FEAR INCARNATE, THE TERROR OF GOTHAM.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas A MAN DRESSED LIKE A BUTT.
A man. Dressed like a butt.
Mad Scientist I hate you two.
Madeline Noble TOTALLY NOT GAY WRESTLING
Not gay wrestling.
Mad Scientist THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS THE SLASH
Mad Scientist YOU HAVE RUINED BATMAN FOREVER
Hannah Sunshıne Climas WE MADE IT BETTER OK?
Mad Scientist No. No you did not.
Madeline Noble buttman forever
Hannah Sunshıne Climas WRESTLE WITH THE SCARECROW. HAVE TROUBLE WALKING THE NEXT DAY.
Madeline Noble the fire is his father
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Seems legit Buttman.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas HIS FATHER IS DEAD.
"Bruce, you have failed me."
Mad Scientist Hannah you are a bad person
Hannah Sunshıne Climas THE FIRE JUST WANTS TO HUG HIM YOU GUYS.
Mad Scientist His father just melted
Mad Scientist I hate hallucinations
Hannah Sunshıne Climas BAD TOUCH.
Madeline Noble HIS FATHER MELTED IN THE WATER, HIS FATHER IS THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST
Mad Scientist YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE BULLOCK SHUT UP
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ... I want to quote Wicked now.
Madeline Noble THE COMMISIONER'S PET BUTT
Mad Scientist ... did he just hit Batman?
Mad Scientist Really?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Bullock don't pick fights with Buttman.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas You'll lose.
Bullock, being stupid.As usual.
Madeline Noble also, Bullock is such a douche
Madeline Noble also, zorro is awesome
Madeline Noble that is not an insult
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Zorro is also the night.
Mad Scientist Bullock gets better when he gains some depth
Hannah Sunshıne Climas SEEMS LIKE THEY UNDERESTIMATED THE BUTTMAN.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh show. You are good to us.
Mad Scientist I can hit you from here with something hard, you know, Hannah.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas I was a professor of psychology.
Scarecrow you be tripping balls.
Mad Scientist I could throw this glass at you
Hannah Sunshıne Climas I AM THE NIGHT. YOU COULDN'T HIT ME.
Mad Scientist "They called me a lunatic! So now, they will learn the true nature of horror!"
Mad Scientist You are a lunatic.
Madeline Noble "wow he's a real professor" these guys are easily impressed
Mad Scientist They're not bright.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas I love the lasers in this show.
Mad Scientist Lasers, like electricity, are magic.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Bruce Wayne has stubble you guys.
Madeline Noble Bruce go to bed, you are tripping
Hannah Sunshıne Climas SORCERY.
Mad Scientist Bruce doesn't sleep.
Mad Scientist Ever.
Madeline Noble aw, Batman rubbing his eyes
Mad Scientist The closest thing he gets to sleep is being knocked unconscious.
Mad Scientist I LOVE YOU ALFRED.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Every time I try to type 'Bruce' it tries to tag my stepdad. It's hilarious.
Madeline Noble OH ALFRED I LOVE YOUR SASS
Mad Scientist We need a snarky butler.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ALFRED/SWAGGER OTP 4 LYF
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Also yes, yes we do.
Madeline Noble he's having visions of his father, HE IS SIMBA
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Hey guys. Alfred = Rafiki.
Madeline Noble OMG ALFREDDDDDDD
Mad Scientist Alfred is the best mother ever.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.
Mad Scientist Who the hell is Rafiki?
Mad Scientist Is that the baboon?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ... really Jacqui?
Mad Scientist It's the baboon, isn't it?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas The baboon.
Madeline Noble indeed he is!
Mad Scientist Oh good
Mad Scientist I like him
Madeline Noble "over my dead body' THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO SAY TO A SUPER VILLAN
Mad Scientist How does that tiny mask fit over the Scarecrow's head?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas "Over my dead body".
THINGS YOU DON'T SAY TO ANYONE IN GOTHAM EVER
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Also, science.
Mad Scientist IT'S A GIANT BAT! GET HIM!
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Batman is being beaten up with a handbag.
Madeline Noble okay if I saw a giant bat I would not try to beat it with my purse
Hannah Sunshıne Climas This is hilarious.
Mad Scientist They're insane with fear and he can't hurt them.
Madeline Noble Props to that lady though, she got in a couple of hit on Batman
Mad Scientist Oh great, the first of many dangling-off-a-blimp rides.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Random Lady > any other villain.
Madeline Noble Batman swinging around on a giant pipe NOTHING PHALLIC ABOUT THIS AT ALL.
Mad Scientist It wouldn't be Batman is he didn't dangle off blimps
Mad Scientist Or planes
Mad Scientist Or mutant bat-things
Mad Scientist Or high ledges
Madeline Noble Jac your comment made that even better
Mad Scientist I am ignoring the innuendo
Mad Scientist For my own sanity
Madeline Noble "random henchman, you take out Batman"
Madeline Noble just give in to the slash
Mad Scientist Firing guns on top of a blimp? Really?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Jacqui's comments are hilarious because she doesn't do innuendo.
Mad Scientist Scarecrow. HIRE SMARTER HELP.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas NO HE IS A PROFESSOR.
Madeline Noble he really should
Mad Scientist Dammit
Mad Scientist At least Batman isn't scared of heights.
Madeline Noble okay, you would think there would be a fire extinguisher on that blimp
Mad Scientist That would make his job hard.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER.
Madeline Noble I AM VENGANCE I AM THE NIGHT I AM BATMAN
Mad Scientist I AM VENGEANCE. I AM THE NIGHT. I AM BATMAN.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Oh you guys.
Vengeance. The night. Batman.
Madeline Noble "that would make his job hard" THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Mad Scientist Not bad, random henchman.
Mad Scientist Good try anyway
Hannah Sunshıne Climas And then he got shot.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas But full points for effort.
Mad Scientist ... his greatest fear is prison and he went back to crime?
Mad Scientist Seriously?
Mad Scientist Not smart.
Madeline Noble I LOOK UP TO SEE BATMAN DOING SOME MORE TOTALLY HETEROSEXUAL WRESTLING WITH THE HENCHMAN
This is suss, apparently.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Seems legit.
Madeline Noble they're going downnnnnnnnn
Hannah Sunshıne Climas ALL OF HIS WRESTLING IS HETROSEXUAL LADYBRO.
Mad Scientist Look, Batman gets to wrestle some women later.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas That's what she said.
Mad Scientist It's just that most of the cheap thugs in Gotham are male
Madeline Noble sure he does
Hannah Sunshıne Climas I bet they're cheap.
Madeline Noble "cheap thugs" eh eh eh
Mad Scientist Can we be serious about our children's cartoons please?
Madeline Noble YOU CAN'T STOP US JAC
Mad Scientist And that makes me very sad
Hannah Sunshıne Climas YOU LOVE IT.
Madeline Noble "bingo"
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Does background check on Crane. STALKER MUCH?
Mad Scientist I'm regretting that I committed to about 80 episodes of this with you
Hannah Sunshıne Climas REVENGE WAS IN MY GRASP.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Uh-huh sure it was.
Mad Scientist This is just being a dick.
Mad Scientist Dosing Crane like that.
Mad Scientist It's just going to make rehab harder.
Madeline Noble "can't handle your own medicine" OH SNAP
Madeline Noble hey, you knew what you were getting into, you've watched things with us before
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Is that a bat or a gremlin?
Looks a bit like Manbat, actually.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas NO STOP LEAVE ME ALONE?
What's the matter Scarecrow? Can't handle your own medicine?
Hannah Sunshıne Climas I feel like this is getting into dark!fic territory.
Madeline Noble "OHHHH YESSSSSS"
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Batman just said OH YES and it was creepy.
Madeline Noble totally dark fic
Hannah Sunshıne Climas AND THEM BAM, GRAVES.
How all children's cartoons should end.
Madeline Noble man, how did Bullock not see scarecrow hanging there
Mad Scientist Finish on: DEAD PARENTS
Madeline Noble SPOILER:" HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD
Mad Scientist Bullock is a good cop but he's not very observant
Hannah Sunshıne Climas He was wearing sunglasses to the graveyard.
Hannah Sunshıne Climas He's got that Wayne swag.
Madeline Noble also he's a douche
Mad Scientist They have trouble in the comics with a jury just not trusting his testimony because he looks and sounds so crooked
Hannah Sunshıne Climas Crooked eh?